


The Pros and Cons of Spontaneous Nonexistence

by Duke307



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: First Time, Get Together, M/M, Making Out, One Shot, Premature Ejaculation, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duke307/pseuds/Duke307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The worst part is that everything was going fine before. In fact, it was going better than fine. It was going fucking fantastic, if he was being completely honest, and who was going to lie about the awesomeness levels of finally getting to stick your tongue down Captain America’s throat?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pros and Cons of Spontaneous Nonexistence

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fic by myself! Yay!  
> Hugs and kisses to my A+ amazing beta milou307 
> 
> Comments are awesome and always welcome! :)

Tony Stark wants to die.

He has no idea what blasphemy he’s committed in a past life, or what obscure pagan god decided that today was a good day to just shit in his face, but Tony Stark is currently praying with every cell in his body to become spontaneously invisible. Bursting into flames would also suit his purposes. He wouldn’t say no to disappearing into the void for all time, either. Literally anything would be better than having to face Steve.

The worst part is that everything was going _fine_ before. In fact, it was going better than fine. It was going fucking fantastic, if he was being completely honest, and who was going to lie about the awesomeness levels of finally getting to stick your tongue down Captain America’s throat? Not him, that’s for sure. He’d had a damn crush on the guy for so long it had practically become a fucking identifier for new SHIELD agents.

 _Oh, who? Stark? Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark? Yeah, that’s him over there. You know, the one who’s been staring longingly at the Captain for the last ten minutes. Yeah, it’s a little pathetic, we don’t really talk about it._

Then today he’d finally accepted that Steve wasn’t ever gonna return the interest and retreated to his lab with his usual flare and bottles of whiskey when, miracle of miracles, Steve had followed him down and asked if he could sketch for a bit. One thing lead to another and the next thing he knew, his legs were wrapped around a nonexistent supersoldier waist and Steve was pressing him against the wall while enthusiastically kissing his neck.

And then they were on the couch and Tony was on top of Steve and hands were tearing at shirts  and lips were being bitten and skin was finally touching skin when _it_ happened.

Steve _moaned_.

Not just any moan either. A full body, back arched, head thrown back, upward thrust, yes, that blush does go _all the way down_ moan. And Tony came in his pants like a fucking teenager.

He’s still lying on top of Steve a second later when Steve’s hand slides down his back to grab his ass and Tony wants to stop existing all over again because he’s lying half naked on a couch with the literal, actual man of his dreams holding a fistful of his ass, and he’s already done. Face burning, he shifts back a little so he’s kneeling over the other man. Steve’s hand slips around his waist and goes for Tony’s belt but he catches his wrist before he gets there.

“How ‘bout we just, um,” He scoots even farther down and starts kissing down Steve’s stomach. He’s about to tackle Steve’s belt when a hand settles on the back of his neck and pulls him up so Steve can press gentle kisses to his lips and chin.

“Can I?” Tony feels Steve whisper into his neck. “I want to take care of you. I really want to.” More kisses are peppered over Tony’s shoulders when he feels his belt pulled away and Tony is in very real danger of having a panic attack in the middle of what should have been the best sex of his life so far.

 _Shit. Fuck, shit, fucking shit._ Tony’s breath starts speeding up and he’s on the verge of hyperventilating when Steve looks up and Tony can just see the moment when it registers that the look on his face isn’t sexy. It’s probably the opposite of sexy. He feels awful when Steve freezes; he feels like the worst bastard on earth when Steve yanks his hands away and asks what he did wrong. He sounds so pleading and worried too. _Fuck._

“Tony? I’m sorry, whatever I did, I’m so sorry. I just really wanted this to go well and-”

“What?” Tony gapes at him. “You’re sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all my fault, it’s just that I’ve wanted this for so long and I wanted you so bad and you were there and so fucking _gorgeous_ and there was skin and you made this noise and I just fucking shot my load in my pants like I don’t have slutty fucking _decades_ of practice and it should have been so good for you and I wanted it to be so good for you and now it’s a mess and I-” He stops to take a breath and buries his face in his hands. “I’m gonna go hide now, okay? Don’t worry, JARVIS can babysit.”

He’s about four steps away from grabbing the bottle of whiskey he came down there with and sprinting from the room for all eternity, when he feels Steve’s fingers grab his arm and pull him around and it’s all he can do to keep from groaning in frustration.

“Look,can we not? Okay? I know it was disappointing, that’s kinda the whole point of me leav-mmfff”

There are lips pressing against Tony’s, hands sliding over his shoulders, and he is thoroughly confused.

“Steve?”

He’s being lifted, moving backwards.

“Do you know what you just told me? You came from just looking at me.” Steve is breathing heavily against his neck and licking behind his jaw and Tony is starting to get the feeling that he isn’t upset. “Now here’s what we’re gonna do, Tony. We’re gonna go upstairs.” There are teeth biting up and down his neck and Tony is losing the ability to think properly. He thinks he hears Steve press the elevator button.

“We’re going upstairs?”

“Yes, Tony. We’re gonna go upstairs to my bedroom, and I’m gonna suck you and finger you open until you’re hard again. Can you do that for me?”

Tony was also starting to get the feeling that getting it up again wasn’t going to be as much of a problem as he’d feared. He nods vigorously and presses his lips against any skin he can reach. Steve laughs, breathy against Tony’s shoulder, before he adds:

“Then you’re going to ride me until we both can’t see straight.

And Tony praises whatever god gave him Steve Rogers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I can also be found at buckybarnesmetaltears.tumblr.com


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